This quite literally took my breath away, Elle. That one post can encompass nearly the full range of human emotion is, to my mind, the mark of true writing talent. You are a gift. I am so happy for you, and I am so happy you are here 💛
I could quote five different passages Elle. I'll settle on this one:
"I used to think that something was wrong with me because I didn’t love having sex like everyone else. The truth is that I had been torn asunder, encased in separation between my mind and my body."
This is so real. The separation between mind and body is exactly what I also felt all those years. I knew that I was actively disassociating, but the encasing meant that I refused to allow myself to really think about it. If I really examined that disassociation, I was afraid of where it might lead.
Yes! I always figured this mind/body separation could be remedied if I worked on more mindful practices. What I didn’t know was that getting on hormones and beginning my transition was the only thing that was really going to help! Truly life changing and saving.
I held my breathe, it let me go to feelings rarely touched,
I am deeply touched—educated and held by your holy words.
Every part spoke to me, although my experience is of course different, I feel seen somehow, less disjointed in my relationship to my daughter. Thank you for this soft deep caress of soul.
Truly this is music.
"Many poets have written about this idea of the self being an island. Cast astray in a sea so large that there is no way that you can be found. For so long, to be touched as if I was a man was to feel not like an island, but a single grain of sand on one of the beaches of the island. You couldn’t find me even if you tried. Even if you dug and dug and sifted and sorted. I was nowhere to be found. ... But my hairdresser did."
The way you wrote that touch changed as you transitioned and opened yourself up to your own body and mind was so beautifully crafted. Honestly took my breath away.
Beautiful ❤️
This quite literally took my breath away, Elle. That one post can encompass nearly the full range of human emotion is, to my mind, the mark of true writing talent. You are a gift. I am so happy for you, and I am so happy you are here 💛
Thank you so much for these very kind words, Amy! They mean so much to me and I am also so glad that you are here spreading kindness and positivity :)
I could quote five different passages Elle. I'll settle on this one:
"I used to think that something was wrong with me because I didn’t love having sex like everyone else. The truth is that I had been torn asunder, encased in separation between my mind and my body."
This is so real. The separation between mind and body is exactly what I also felt all those years. I knew that I was actively disassociating, but the encasing meant that I refused to allow myself to really think about it. If I really examined that disassociation, I was afraid of where it might lead.
Yes! I always figured this mind/body separation could be remedied if I worked on more mindful practices. What I didn’t know was that getting on hormones and beginning my transition was the only thing that was really going to help! Truly life changing and saving.
I held my breathe, it let me go to feelings rarely touched,
I am deeply touched—educated and held by your holy words.
Every part spoke to me, although my experience is of course different, I feel seen somehow, less disjointed in my relationship to my daughter. Thank you for this soft deep caress of soul.
Truly this is music.
"Many poets have written about this idea of the self being an island. Cast astray in a sea so large that there is no way that you can be found. For so long, to be touched as if I was a man was to feel not like an island, but a single grain of sand on one of the beaches of the island. You couldn’t find me even if you tried. Even if you dug and dug and sifted and sorted. I was nowhere to be found. ... But my hairdresser did."
You don't know me so this might be too much.
Thank you!
Thank you so much for these kind words, Prajna. Not too much at all, I really appreciate it!
Thank you so much! Look forward to more!
The way you wrote that touch changed as you transitioned and opened yourself up to your own body and mind was so beautifully crafted. Honestly took my breath away.