a sun ray called elle

day thirteen

If I could name how I feel,

How I felt out of place 

And discontent with my body,

How I wanted to escape manhood

And become a woman,

How I wanted to stop 

Being afraid of femininity,

Maybe I would say that I am trans.

I would open up a wealth of meaning

By dedicating myself to a word. 

But being trans

Is not monolithic. 

Instead we name how we feel 

From our head to our toes

From our soul to our brain

By naming ourselves. 

Elle means sun ray 

In Greek.  

I think that I always knew I was

A beam of light 

In this dimly lit world. 

I knew that what was asked of me

Was not going to be answered. 

So I opened my mouth 

And responded 

With light. 

Uttering over and over

To name this rebellious feeling

Elle. 

«This is Day 13 of my 30 poems in 30 days challenge for National Poetry Month! Subscribe so you don’t miss a poem!